if you like me you must not know who I am
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize