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I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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