I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
