If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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