Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
