Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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