My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
