Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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