break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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