he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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