I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i love accidental penises.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize