real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
