Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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