You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
