I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize