Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
