is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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