you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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