Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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