fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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