I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize