sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
