who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
