We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Did I show you my penis last night?
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He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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