He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
