Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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