it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my being single is dangerous.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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