A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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