walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
