turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
