i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
