What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
