Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
