quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
