I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
