Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
