If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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