I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i need some magic done to my vagina
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
