So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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