I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
