just survived the first fart of the relationship.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Let's get the cat blown out
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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