definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
