You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
