When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just found puke in my bra..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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