talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
