I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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