I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's just like the Real World with babies
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize