She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
