dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
