About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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