Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
