i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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