am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
