I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yo dont text me then not text me
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
