I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
