This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
