um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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