well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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