I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
