Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
